Statement: The term “DS Phat” is a plague upon the landscape of the Internet blogosphere, and I implore all involved parties to cease its usage, effective immediately.

Reasoning:
I’m not sure when the first usage of this term was recorded, but it’s spread like wildfire to every pseudo-gaming news site I can think of, and probably several I haven’t. Regardless, it reeks of some blogger trying to be witty after the DS Lite’s name was announced. However, no matter how hard people try to push the term, it just doesn’t work, and never will. Why do I say that?

1. The term “phat” has never, ever been considered to be “in” slang by anyone, save a small minority of adolescents during the late 90’s and early 2000’s.
2. When the GBA SP was released, did we call it the “GBA Wide” or the “GBA Dark” or the “GBA with less hinges” or anything like that? No, I don’t believe we did.
3. The second iteration of the NES, commonly referred to as the “top-loading NES,” is referred to as such because “top-loading” describes a particular function of the system. “DS Phat” does not.

Look, we all get it: the DS Lite is everything the DS should have been. It’s smaller, glossier, brighter, has a bigger stylus, cures more forms of cancer, and so on. However, underneath its sexy exterior, it’s the same system the DS was. Exactly. the. same.

I have a better idea. Why don’t we just call it the Nintendo DS?

Or, if you absolutely must differentiate between the two, just call it the original DS. I mean, I’m no expert, but I’d feel pretty confident saying that that would describe what the system is with a high degree of accuracy.

So I’m taking a stand. From this day forward, I pledge myself to the fight against this ridiculous name for Nintendo’s latest handheld offering.

There is no middle ground in this fight.

Where will you stand?

With me, or against me?

Posted on 20 July 2006 | Comment [2]