Statement: The term “DS Phat” is a plague upon the landscape of the Internet blogosphere, and I implore all involved parties to cease its usage, effective immediately.

Reasoning:
I’m not sure when the first usage of this term was recorded, but it’s spread like wildfire to every pseudo-gaming news site I can think of, and probably several I haven’t. Regardless, it reeks of some blogger trying to be witty after the DS Lite’s name was announced. However, no matter how hard people try to push the term, it just doesn’t work, and never will. Why do I say that?

1. The term “phat” has never, ever been considered to be “in” slang by anyone, save a small minority of adolescents during the late 90’s and early 2000’s.
2. When the GBA SP was released, did we call it the “GBA Wide” or the “GBA Dark” or the “GBA with less hinges” or anything like that? No, I don’t believe we did.
3. The second iteration of the NES, commonly referred to as the “top-loading NES,” is referred to as such because “top-loading” describes a particular function of the system. “DS Phat” does not.

Look, we all get it: the DS Lite is everything the DS should have been. It’s smaller, glossier, brighter, has a bigger stylus, cures more forms of cancer, and so on. However, underneath its sexy exterior, it’s the same system the DS was. Exactly. the. same.

I have a better idea. Why don’t we just call it the Nintendo DS?

Or, if you absolutely must differentiate between the two, just call it the original DS. I mean, I’m no expert, but I’d feel pretty confident saying that that would describe what the system is with a high degree of accuracy.

So I’m taking a stand. From this day forward, I pledge myself to the fight against this ridiculous name for Nintendo’s latest handheld offering.

There is no middle ground in this fight.

Where will you stand?

With me, or against me?

Posted on 20 July 2006 | Comment [2]

I’ve been a Nintendo fan for a long time now. We got an NES when I was about 6 years old, and I always played Mario Brothers and the original Legend of Zelda and a ton of other great games. Those are some of my fondest childhood memories. Since then I’ve owned every Nintendo console. However, when Nintendo announced the “Revolution” and said nothing save that it would change the way games are played, and then didn’t show why for over a year, I began to wonder if they’d lost their mind.

Tonight, they pulled the curtains up. I hope they can forgive me for doubting them.

Let me go back a bit, in case you’re not familiar with this “Revolution,” although if you read this blog, chances are that you are, in fact, familiar with it. Indulge me anyway.

It’s that wonderful time in the gaming world when the current generation of consoles begins to be pushed aside, and information about the next generation of consoles (re: what you’re going to be spending $400+ on in the next year or so) begins to trickle out to the masses. Microsoft revealed the Xbox 360 in that wonderful MTV special a few months ago, and Sony showed off the PS3 and everything that it may or not be able to do at E3. Nintendo showed what the actual Revolution console was going to look like, but the controller was MIA. Yet, they assured us, the controller would change the way we played games. Even better, they said the controller would open up entirely new types of games for us to play.

I am nothing if not skeptical, and while I wanted to take Nintendo at their word, I figured that, while the Revolution controller would have some cool gimmick that would be cool in some cases, it ultimately would not change gaming all that much.

After playing with a DS for some length of time, I began to see that maybe whatever ace Nintendo had up their sleeve would really be something special.

None of my presuppositions could prepare me for the real thing.

First, here are some (stolen from Gamespot) images for you:

Your initial reaction: probably a resounding “WHAT THE FUCK.” That’s OK. So was mine.

Until I started reading some hands-on impressions of this strange, rectangular beast, and what it could do.

Here’s a partial feature list, stolen from IGN:

• Remote control design: constructed to appeal to a wide variety of potential players
• 3D Pointing: Sensors understand up, down, left, right, forward and backward.
• Tilt Sensitive: Controller can be rotated or rolled from side-to-side.
• Buttons Included: Has a trigger on its backside, face buttons, and a D-Pad.
• Multifunctional: Has an expansion port which can be used with different types of controller peripherals. Analog stick with two trigger buttons planned for left hand.
• Wireless: Totally wire-free. Currently there are no details on the max distance, source or power, or otherwise.
• Rumble Built-in. Included standard in all the controllers.

Once I started thinking about the wealth of possibilities this thing opens up, I changed my view very quickly. With the combination of the analog stick attachment and the pointing capabilities of the remote, the FPS genre has just been completely redefined. The remote has a trigger on the underside; if the analog stick handles moving forwards/backwards/strafing (and it will), the remote is more or less like having an actual gun in your hand. Point it where you want to aim, and pull the trigger. The idea of Metroid Prime 3 using this control scheme was enough to blow my mind. I cannot wait to see what other first-party Nintendo games utilize the controller to its fullest potential.

And judging from the reactions of other developers and publishers, I’m not the only one who thinks this way.

When Nintendo was saying that the Revolution isn’t meant to go head-to-head against Microsoft and Sony, I wondered if they knew what they were saying. It turns out they did.

Nintendo seems to have put everything they have into the Revolution. As The Scot said (and I had been thinking to myself), this is a Sega Dreamcast move. The Revolution is a very gutsy move on Nintendo’s part, and it is my firm belief that this is going to be Nintendo’s make-or-break system.

It is also my firm belief that, of those two choices, this is going to fall clearly in the “make” category.

I have more impressions on this thing, I’m sure, but I’m really still in shock. If anyone is interested, in a few days I’ll post some more in-depth thoughts. In the meantime, I’ll link you to a few different gaming sites and their coverage of the Revolution.

• IGNCube – There is a wealth of good information available, you would do well to start here
• 1UP.com
• Gamespot

All I can say: well played, Nintendo. Well played indeed.

Posted on 16 September 2005 | Comment [2]